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General Chit-Chat (non-knitting talk)
Mammogram
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Page: 1 2 next>>
May 22, 2012 06:52:27   #
valene
 
While conducting some business at the Courthouse , I overheard a lady , who had been arrested
for assaulting a Mammogram Technician , say , "Your Honor , I'm guilty but.....
there were extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said , sarcastically , "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances."
I did too soooo…… I listened as the lady told her story.
"Your Honor , I had a mammogram appointment , which I actually kept. I was met by this perky
little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned ,
"Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here , strip to the waist ,
then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"
I'm thinking , "Belinda , try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished , Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said , "Hmmmm.
Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine , I answered.
I was freezing , bruised , and out of air , so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and
neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast
wedged between those two 4inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness , the power was off!
Belinda said , "Uh-oh , maintenance is working , bet they hit a snag. "Then she headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said , "Oh , you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the
emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."
Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl ,
"maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the
Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite Hi , how's it going type greeting , Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked ,
to my utter disbelief , if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria , I replied with as much calmness as possible ,
"Uh , yes , I did but thanks anyway."
"OK , you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in
the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later , Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress her amusement , she said , "Oh I am sooo sorry!
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me , I went to lunch. Are we upset?"
And that , Your Honor , is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed".
When you stop laughing , pass this on.
====================================
 
May 22, 2012 07:34:50   #
Laura Lee
 
May 22, 2012 09:53:20   #
Leonora
 
OMG...........if it had been me.........I would have floored her good and proper..........a 4 week job in hospital to recover her injuries.
May 22, 2012 09:58:18   #
jumbleburt
 
Homicide would have been justifiable!
Jan
May 22, 2012 12:04:13   #
knitter61
 
When I was pregnant with twins and could barely walk I was positioned on a small table in the examining room and left while waiting on the dr. He came in with two students and they moved their chairs to the end of the table to take a look and discuss what they were seeing. When they finished they left the room and I waited and waited. I couldn't get up alone because to get out of a regular bed I had to roll and then try to stand. I was there for 20 minutes and in tears before the nurse finally came back and said oh my we forgot you! Can you get up on your own? Well if I could I sure wouldn't be laying here like a beached whale, would I?
May 22, 2012 12:05:23   #
trish2222 (a regular here)
 
That's really funny.

I'm going for one next week - I know what to do if that happens to me!
 
May 22, 2012 12:58:47   #
Patty Sutter (a regular here)
 
Too perfect!!!
May 22, 2012 13:13:22   #
MaryMargaret
 
Is it true? Surely not. If so, the technician committed malpractice. I don't even think it's funny.

I stopped submitted to mammograms ten years ago. And I am a nurse.

Just so you know, the prostate authorities are now recommending AGAINST screening PSA tests for men in any age category because they do more harm than good.

I will spare you my riff about screening tests in general. They are profitable, cause harm, and are of questionable value.
May 23, 2012 07:01:55   #
kiwiannie (a regular here)
 
Thankyou,you have made a pain experience funny and more bearable,in August when my next one is due i will remember this and laugh.xx
May 23, 2012 08:39:14   #
MaryMargaret
 
knitter61 wrote:
When I was pregnant with twins and could barely walk I was positioned on a small table in the examining room and left while waiting on the dr. He came in with two students and they moved their chairs to the end of the table to take a look and discuss what they were seeing. When they finished they left the room and I waited and waited. I couldn't get up alone because to get out of a regular bed I had to roll and then try to stand. I was there for 20 minutes and in tears before the nurse finally came back and said oh my we forgot you! Can you get up on your own? Well if I could I sure wouldn't be laying here like a beached whale, would I?
When I was pregnant with twins and could barely wa... (show quote)


Patient abuse. I hope you found a new doctorvor better yet a midwife.
May 23, 2012 08:42:41   #
Knitress
 
LOL,Exactly, but don't let a few moments of discomfort discourage you from getting a mammogram, my Mom's cancer was found at stage 1 and has been a survivor, it would not have been found otherwise.
 
May 23, 2012 10:13:17   #
Junelouise
 
I get a mammogram every two years as part of healthy screening program. My next one is this November. I can hardly stand the few seconds to take the x-ray. If I had been left there I would be screaming after 2 minutes!

June
May 23, 2012 11:55:37   #
abc123retired
 
MaryMargaret wrote:
Is it true? Surely not. If so, the technician committed malpractice. I don't even think it's funny.

I stopped submitted to mammograms ten years ago. And I am a nurse.

Just so you know, the prostate authorities are now recommending AGAINST screening PSA tests for men in any age category because they do more harm than good.

I will spare you my riff about screening tests in general. They are profitable, cause harm, and are of questionable value.


Oh, you made me feel so much better! It has been two years since my last mammogram. I wish you had riffed; I would have been very interested in it.
May 23, 2012 12:17:04   #
fly2lln
 
I don't know if this is an urban legend tale or true, but baed on my experiences there is no way a woman could stand in that position for an hour without screaming for help. It would have hurt too much! I hope that "Barbie Doll" techy lost her job over that. People who work in patient care jobs need more courses on "patient care" !!!!!
May 23, 2012 15:08:14   #
Karena
 
Good story. I went yesterday. The new machinies are more comfortable and give better readings.
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