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Rude parents
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Jan 25, 2015 18:00:35   #
shadypineslady
 
Maybe the answer is to talk to whoever at your retirement community is in charge of the dining room, I live in a similar place and that in-charge person would be the current President of our Resident Association. I would speak to that individual and ask that they assign someone to advise parents like this to remove their children until they can sit calmly and quietly at a dinner table. With a parent like this, it's no good for an annoyed resident to try to get them to see how disruptive their children are; its only helpful if a Sergeant At Arms type individual sets them straight. It's amazing how people respond to someone in authority.

Anyway, that's what I would do if that kind of thing happened in our retirement complex dining room.
 
Jan 25, 2015 18:02:24   #
knitpick1
 
You also need to teach your kids respect for others property. The elderly widow lady on the other corner across the street from me had a perfect house and perfect beautiful yard. But at the corner of her yard where the sidewalk was she had a bare spot where she complained that instead of kids staying on the sidewalk when turning past her house they were in the habit of cutting across her grass. Our home was located at a dead end. When mine wanted to extend their riding boundaries I went with them to cross the street and watched till it was safe to cross so they could ride around her block. I told them under no circumstances were they to cut across her front yard to turn the corner. That it made an ugly spot in her beautiful yard and made her sad. They rode around a few times and then stopped at the corner and called across for me to come and watch so they could cross and come home. I didn't know she was watching the whole thing from her windows. She looked my phone number up and called me because she had a bad leg and didn't want to chance crossing the street. She said she wanted to just commend me for the way I was raising my kids to respect her property. She said her deceased husband was a retired cop and he had said a number of times that if people would just use good parenting skills they wouldn't have so many criminals.
Jan 25, 2015 18:09:09   #
gina
 
ThaisFindsafeather wrote:
Sadly, people are passing judgment on a situation that may be entirely circumstantial. Maybe these Small children had to travel a very long distance to see a relative, and are beyond tired. Maybe their mother wasn't feeling well, and for one meal, couldn't muster the energy.

I'm sure that the situation could be handled better, but the fact is, a woman with small children is exhausted. And how sad for the resident that her family was shamed. I certainly hope they don't stop visiting for that persons sake.

Sometimes the very best of children act up, and sometimes the very best parents drop the ball.
Sadly, people are passing judgment on a situation ... (show quote)


You missed the entire point, didn't you? You just made up a reason for the mother's poor behavior, and scolded the people who had a right to peace and quiet.

Tired or not, she should have apologized and spoken to her children. If she can't manage them , then she shouldn't bring them there, certainly not into the dining room.
Jan 25, 2015 18:13:14   #
BeadsNyarn
 
I try never to pass judgment on other parents. Especially if I don't know them personally.

I have 2 kids. 3 and 6. They are very well behaved and extremely polite. But they do have off days, where they can be loud and quite demanding.
Maybe they had a rough day. who knows? It does happen and we are all human. I try to avoid adult restaurants or quiet areas out of respect for others, but sometimes it can be out of the parent's control. I feel for parents that are put in embarrassing situation because of little ones. I've been there, and it still happens to me! lol I try to sympathize. I don't think it's a situation where one can judge the parents on the way they raise their children.

Everybody has bad days. It was probably one for them.

Instead of being rude, she could of apologized to the others that were there, and took her kids out for a time-out.
Jan 25, 2015 18:41:23   #
BoBeau
 
Bad day or exhaustion. She said both parents were there. If they were both too exhausted to control their children, they should not have brought them into the dining room.

My children and grandchildren were taught early that polite, and quiet behavior was expected/demanded in public situations. When my grandchildren started pre-school they were told by some of the 'older' kids that it was against the law for the teachers or their parents to spank them. Many of the other children were not disciplined in any respect. It was very unsettling for them. We jokingly told them that their mom and dad could always have Gramma and Grampa swat them if they needed it. Only once did I have to swat either of them.

At about 18 months, my granddaughter had a strong temper and decided to throw herself backwards onto the (carpeted) floor when she was told no for something. I picked her up, cupped my hand to cause a loud noise and swatted her well padded diapered bottom. The noise surprised her. I told her the "RULE" was that if she threw herself on the floor, I had to swat her.

She believed I had to follow the rules, so she didn't throw a tantrum like that again. Most temper tantrums were pouting sessions after that.
Jan 25, 2015 18:44:45   #
Nancy S.
 
Look at what the mother said & you will understand why the little brats are the way they are. I would have also said to the mother "I am not their mother. If I were they would not be acting like that."
 
Jan 25, 2015 18:46:52   #
K2P2 knitter
 
knitpick1 wrote:
One thing I've noticed is when a young child says something smart mouthed an adult will laugh. I say that's wrong because some day it will come back to bite them in the butt. They aren't always going to be little and cute, but someday teenagers. Will the smart mouthing be cute then?


DH and I sat in a McDonalds one day just having a cup of coffee. A young couple with a little girl probably 6 years old and the girl's friend along with the couple's little boy probably 7 or 8 years old were sitting at the next table over from us. The little boy was teasing the girls so his father told him to stop teasing them. The little boy told his father "shut up" his father never said a word but did shut up. DH looked at me and said if my son ever told me to shut up I would have taken him in the bathroom and paddled his little behind. His son and my daughter knew better than to talk back to us. My daughter also would not allow any backtalk from her daughter either. I don't think you need to beat or even hit a child but the child needs to show respect for the parent.
Jan 25, 2015 19:00:05   #
Wine Lover
 
I feel sorry for the children who are being raised by parents who don't know how to be parents.
Jan 25, 2015 19:09:57   #
shadypineslady
 
Nancy S. wrote:
Look at what the mother said & you will understand why the little brats are the way they are. I would have also said to the mother "I am not their mother. If I were they would not be acting like that."


Ditto that. Children learn from their role models.
Jan 25, 2015 19:25:09   #
bagibird
 
I know this won't be popular, but I am entitled to my opinion and so I will state it. I have no children because I dislike them - the whole idea repulses me - I believe I have tocophobia.

I have a dog who is loved very much, but I don't think that I have the right to inflict him on others who don't share my love. Why do people think that I will find their children lovable? Trust me, I don't. If I can find ways of not causing offence with my dog, why can parents not accept that the whole world DOESN'T love their children? I am tired of hearing excuses for poor parenting. Presumably the current faddish conditions like ADHwhatever have always existed, and there have always been badly behaved children, but I don't believe that parents make matters better by subscribing to the "child King", or "princess" view.

Just because you are a parent doesn't give you more rights than someone who is childless. The world doesn't owe you or your child so maybe you could act a bit less "entitled". I already pay taxes for your children, so please don't make it any worse.

Well, I expect I'll have to leave the forum now, but at least I'm true to my beliefs.
Jan 25, 2015 21:11:01   #
Prairie View
 
Thank you Bagibird. I, for one, appreciate your input.

Nuf said on the topic.

It is time to close the subject and move on to another interest.
 
Jan 25, 2015 21:18:17   #
RachelL
 
bagibird wrote:
I know this won't be popular, but I am entitled to my opinion and so I will state it. I have no children because I dislike them - the whole idea repulses me - I believe I have tocophobia.

I have a dog who is loved very much, but I don't think that I have the right to inflict him on others who don't share my love. Why do people think that I will find their children lovable? Trust me, I don't. If I can find ways of not causing offence with my dog, why can parents not accept that the whole world DOESN'T love their children? I am tired of hearing excuses for poor parenting. Presumably the current faddish conditions like ADHwhatever have always existed, and there have always been badly behaved children, but I don't believe that parents make matters better by subscribing to the "child King", or "princess" view.

Just because you are a parent doesn't give you more rights than someone who is childless. The world doesn't owe you or your child so maybe you could act a bit less "entitled". I already pay taxes for your children, so please don't make it any worse.

Well, I expect I'll have to leave the forum now, but at least I'm true to my beliefs.
I know this won't be popular, but I am entitled to... (show quote)


IMO, your point is well taken. Please don't leave this forum. New ideas help us expand our minds.
Jan 25, 2015 21:28:52   #
kneonknitter (a regular here)
 
Daisybel wrote:
I can't understand how people think letting their children behave like that is acceptable. What chaotic homes and lives they must have. If no one comments on the bad behaviour presumably the parents think it is OK. The more people who make it clear that bad behaviour in a public place is unacceptable, the more chance there is (I hope) of the parents doing something about it.

Please note that I do not intend this to apply to the parents of children whose behaviour is due to a medical condition. That's quite different.
I can't understand how people think letting their ... (show quote)


I totally agree with you Daisybel. Depending on the medical condition, a child can still be taught manners & good behaviour. My nephew has Aspberger's & we took him out to restaurants, public events etc from the time he was born. He was taught good manners & good behavior at home & in public places from the time he could understand please, thank you, talk quietly etc. Of course we didn't know he was Autistic till he was 12 years old, so we treated him as we did all the babies born into the family & he acted the same. I am only saying this because there are parents who will fall back on the excuses they have at hand for not doing their proper job as parents to the children who are capable of learning the same things children without handicaps or disabilities learn. In fact, my cousin, who is now 53 years old & is very mentally challenged, knows how to behave at all times & if he gets a little loud or overly stimulated, my aunt & uncle chastise him to quiet down or sit down & relax. Not even trying to raise children properly mannered is sheer laziness & disrespect to others.
Jan 25, 2015 21:33:18   #
omnivore2
 
I think the parents have to move on it quickly, as I learned to dread the beating I was going to get at home, but learned very little about changing my behaviour as it should have been dealt with and explained to me at the time it happened, when I was a little kid.
kneonknitter wrote:
I totally agree with you Daisybel. Depending on the medical condition, a child can still be taught manners & good behaviour. My nephew has Aspberger's & we took him out to restaurants, public events etc from the time he was born. He was taught good manners & good behavior at home & in public places from the time he could understand please, thank you, talk quietly etc. Of course we didn't know he was Autistic till he was 12 years old, so we treated him as we did all the babies born into the family & he acted the same. I am only saying this because there are parents who will fall back on the excuses they have at hand for not doing their proper job as parents to the children who are capable of learning the same things children without handicaps or disabilities learn. In fact, my cousin, who is now 53 years old & is very mentally challenged, knows how to behave at all times & if he gets a little loud or overly stimulated, my aunt & uncle chastise him to quiet down or sit down & relax. Not even trying to raise children properly mannered is sheer laziness & disrespect to others.
I totally agree with you Daisybel. Depending on th... (show quote)
Jan 25, 2015 21:35:22   #
alidakyle
 
bagibird wrote:
I know this won't be popular, but I am entitled to my opinion and so I will state it. I have no children because I dislike them - the whole idea repulses me - I believe I have tocophobia.

I have a dog who is loved very much, but I don't think that I have the right to inflict him on others who don't share my love. Why do people think that I will find their children lovable? Trust me, I don't. If I can find ways of not causing offence with my dog, why can parents not accept that the whole world DOESN'T love their children? I am tired of hearing excuses for poor parenting. Presumably the current faddish conditions like ADHwhatever have always existed, and there have always been badly behaved children, but I don't believe that parents make matters better by subscribing to the "child King", or "princess" view.

Just because you are a parent doesn't give you more rights than someone who is childless. The world doesn't owe you or your child so maybe you could act a bit less "entitled". I already pay taxes for your children, so please don't make it any worse.

Well, I expect I'll have to leave the forum now, but at least I'm true to my beliefs.
I know this won't be popular, but I am entitled to... (show quote)


Your opinion is entirely yours and completely valid. Don't you sometimes wish that some of the parents you see with their children had made the same decision? I strongly believe that, just because you can, you do not necessarily have to!
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