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How would you handle this
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Jun 28, 2019 14:04:55   #
black kitty
 
A friend of mine from church just left me a phone message saying "did you see that beautiful project I put on facebook? " I just LOVE it!" Can you help me make It?"
This lady has never crocheted or knitted a stitch in her life. She is also older and has several health problems including with her memory. The crochet project is beautiful but complicated. Not a beginer project at all. To make this situation worse I am actually finishing the same type of project for myself right now so I can enter it in our local fair and then enjoy using it at nice places like church where my friend will see me with it. (oh dear) I don't have the time to just make her one too and even if I did that several others in our group would feel left out even if they didn't say so. Very sensitive situation. I don't want to hurt her feelings and now I don't feel comfortable using the one I made for myself.
 
Jun 28, 2019 14:07:16   #
Fourel
 
Tell her the truth. You are making one for yourself and it is too time consuming to make another one.
Jun 28, 2019 14:11:17   #
susanstamps (a regular here)
 
Tell her that you can see why she’s loves it, you do too and you’re working on a similar project right now! What good taste she has. It’s been a quite difficult project for you, after you finish you would love to show it to her. Maybe offer to help her find something more suitable for her to learn on.
Jun 28, 2019 14:13:47   #
plumhurricane (a regular here)
 
Do you have time to show her some basic crochet? If this is beyond her then she would realize how complicated it would be & you would be off the hook! Then you could easily say, I don’t have time & tell her how long yours took
Jun 28, 2019 14:37:50   #
Evie RM (a regular here)
 
The best policy is to always tell the truth. Show her the one you made for yourself and tell her what a difficult project it is. Tell her your time is limited, but you would be happy to help her with a less complicated project.
Jun 28, 2019 14:41:46   #
martina (a regular here)
 
Evie RM wrote:
The best policy is to always tell the truth. Show her the one you made for yourself and tell her what a difficult project it is. Tell her your time is limited, but you would be happy to help her with a less complicated project.


That sounds a good solution.
 
Jun 28, 2019 14:44:27   #
hilltopper (a regular here)
 
I agree with all those who said tell her the truth - exactly what you explained to us. That is the wisest course.
Jun 28, 2019 14:58:23   #
Reita
 
Just tell her that you are already working on one for yourself & she will have to get someone else to help her. It really isn't that hard to do. Reita
Jun 28, 2019 15:07:45   #
2019MR3.74
 
I agree.
Jun 28, 2019 15:09:49   #
Knitting in the Rockys (a regular here)
 
I ran into this problem several years ago. My then DIL knew I was in the middle of a horrific break up with my then fiancee, arranging a transfer and move 1,200 miles away in addition to the purchase of a new home in that location when she asked me to knit something for her mother. She wanted me to knit a hooded pullover for her mother, exactly like the one I knit for her the previous Christmas. Worse yet she wanted it for her mother's birthday which was only 3 weeks away! I let her know that I simply didn't have time to do that. Though even if I had the time, it woudln't be something I would do anyway.

Your time is yours to spend exactly as you wish and you shouldn't feel guilty about that.
Jun 28, 2019 15:10:29   #
knit4ES (a regular here)
 
No is a complete sentence.
 
Jun 28, 2019 15:11:12   #
deshka (a regular here)
 
Let her know right away that you have done a project for yourself, she may think you took her idea for your project instead of doing for her. Also let her know how difficult it has been for you, and how long it's taken and you are NOT up to taking on such a project so soon. It's mind boggling sometimes what some people want others to do.
Jun 28, 2019 15:41:24   #
backtoit
 
I agree with all of you. Tell her it was very difficult and now finished, will not be done again. If you offer to make something else, be sure you select the patterns you are willing to spend time on so she doesn’t find another challenge for you. However, if you don’t want to do it at all, you should not feel obligated to do so. Because she doesn’t knit or crochet, she really cannot understand the time it takes.
Jun 28, 2019 15:51:12   #
Lilyan (a regular here)
 
I would reply to her right away. Tell her that you are already in the middle of making this project for yourself and that you are finding it quite a challenge so she should ask someone else since you would not be able to go through this a second time.
Jun 28, 2019 16:51:48   #
Montana Gramma (a regular here)
 
Your post speaks of how kind of a person you are even contemplating hurting feelings. With her memory issues perhaps an explanation of time will satisfy her and that you are looking forward to showing your first one. And you might mention that you don't have time to do one for all, all for one.
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