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Request for prayer
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Jul 20, 2019 22:24:53   #
Prayers are going up for you both. It's a tough situation. Stay where you know people, have support and a medical team for you and your DH. Please don't try to do everything for your husband yourself; best for him to go to a rehab facility after surgery.
Jul 20, 2019 22:27:59   #
Moving closer to family isn’t always the answer. As others have said, it’s very hard for disoriented people to tolerate a move like that. It’s important to be near your long-time friends. You are all in my prayers.
Jul 20, 2019 22:30:43   #
Do what is best for your husband and you not your daughter. If she can't ring you at least once a week she wouldn't be any help for you if you moved to be near her. My daughter rings me 2 or 3 times a day and she is always there if I need help with anything. I hope everything works out well for you both.Take care.
Jul 20, 2019 22:33:02   #
MMWRay (a regular here)
Sorry to say but if your daughter hasn't had the time to phone, she isn't going to be any better if you move close to her. If your daughter wanted you to move she would be there helping you do it, not just telling YOU to do it. She should be angry at herself for her own shortcomings and maybe that is part of her lashing out.
My prayers are with you. It is such a difficult and stressful situation.
When your husband gets through the surgery take advantage of the rehab in a facility. It is much better than any home program and Medicare allows a certain amount. The social workers know about and can arrange home health care after the stint in the facility. You need a break and support for yourself. Caretaker burn out can take your life and then where would your husband be. There is help out there for both of you. Maybe this situation is a gateway to more help. We can pray it is.
Jul 20, 2019 22:36:39   #
YNotCrochet (a regular here)
Praying for you and your family and the medical team in the coming days/weeks. Please reach out and accept any needed help for your sake as well as your DH.
Jul 20, 2019 22:45:01   #
youngie (a regular here)
So sorry for what you are going through. My DH also had frontal lobe dementia. He was a painter and the doctor said it was due to lead poisoning from the paint. He was in two temporary places before going into permanent care, and after being there about a month he said "I wont be going anywhere else, will I". They get so used to a daily routine and it doesn't take much to upset them, as you would understand. Prayers for both of you. (())
Jul 20, 2019 22:50:18   #
Cookiecat (a regular here)
You and DH are in my prayers!
Jul 20, 2019 22:52:44   #
Kay Knits
Sending prayers for all of you for support and healing.
Jul 20, 2019 22:54:37   #
BrattyPatty (a regular here)
charbaby wrote:
DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's & frontotemporal lobe dementia 2 years ago. Getting him to listen & follow direction has been next to impossible. When I was in the bathroom Wednesday early evening he decided to go out & sweep the front steps. I came out of the john & heard him fussing & swearing. He was leaning up against the heavy wooden railing. I helped him back in the house. He complained of right leg pain & had an abrasion on his outer left elbow. I don't know what the hell he did. And his verbal skills are so impaired he gropes for words & never gets there. He walked Wednesday night & all day Thursday into early Friday morning with my help & the walker. Started last night complaining of left leg pain & inability to move his feet when standing. But he could stand if I helped him up. Today, no walking, no standing, no ability to know when he had to urinate. Very confused, more so than lately. So against his pleadings & threats, I called the local rescue squad & brought him to the ER. The CT scan shows a fractured left femur right at the neck under the hip joint. Exactly how his Dad, then his Mom fractured theirs. Papa was gone in a week. Mama died 3 months after her surgery. Pa was 89; Mama 97. Frank will be 79 on the 24th. His health hasn't been good. Our DD is furious with me because I haven't gotten us moved to Columbus. I was reluctant because if she's too busy to pick up her ever present I phone & call once a week, what kind of support could I expect in a city where they are the only 2 people I know? But somehow his dementia & his fracture is my fault. I'm really at my wit's end tonight. Surgery is in the morning around 11. Please, if you're the praying kind to the God of your understanding, remember us in your prayers tonight. Thanks so much for "listening."
DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's & frontotemp... (show quote)

Done!!! Sending warm hugs your way, charbaby!
Jul 20, 2019 23:05:55   #
fortunate1 (a regular here)
I don't think a move is the answer. Where you are is familiar to him. Although he may have dementia or Alzheimer's he knows where he is at. On some level. Moving can be very traumatizing to him. If you are making the move, then move where you have a support system, and help. You are very courageous for doing all this for him, but honey, it will cause you to be overwhelmed and may even cause you to get sick.
I took care of mom the last 2-3 years of her life, 24/7. I would reach a point I would have to call my brother to take the 5 hour drive to give me a 2-3 day break. Not sleeping but for a few hours a day, not eating right, up and down all day, , feeding her, helping he walk, what sleep I got was on the floor by her bed as she woke up confused and tried to climb out of bed, it all got to be to much. I wouldn't change it, I am glad I got to do it, but breaks were wonderful!

Get some help if you deserve it.
Jul 20, 2019 23:11:10   #
deshka (a regular here)
Prayers for you and your family. I am wondering if your DH will be sent home soon after the surgery, he may not be. A friend close to me fell and shattered her hip, she was in the hospital a few days after surgery but then transfered to a care facility that was cheaper than the hospital, it was not a nursing home but I imagine similar. It's a tough job keeping track and care of another, especially if they are unable to do much in the way of helping. Take care of yourself please.
Jul 20, 2019 23:32:51   #
Beachgirl1000 (a regular here)
Oh, dear Charlotte, I have sometimes forgotten that you are caring for your husband with Alzheimer's. I do hope that he comes through the surgery well and recovers well, too. And you will definitely be in my thoughts and have my deepest hope that this situation gets easier for you and for your husband. I know this is a very difficult situation for you both.
Jul 20, 2019 23:43:30   #
Jul 20, 2019 23:58:46   #
SQM (a regular here)
Charbaby - I am so sad to hear about your family. You have been given very good advice here. I can only add - this too shall pass.

(I was shocked to see your name is Charlotte. I always pictured a charred baby and pondered why you would choose that.)
Jul 21, 2019 00:11:45   #
crafterwantabe (a regular here)
Prayers for your hubby and you and the surgical team.... hugs...
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