Prayers are going up for you both. It's a tough situation. Stay where you know people, have support and a medical team for you and your DH. Please don't try to do everything for your husband yourself; best for him to go to a rehab facility after surgery.
Moving closer to family isn’t always the answer. As others have said, it’s very hard for disoriented people to tolerate a move like that. It’s important to be near your long-time friends. You are all in my prayers.
Do what is best for your husband and you not your daughter. If she can't ring you at least once a week she wouldn't be any help for you if you moved to be near her. My daughter rings me 2 or 3 times a day and she is always there if I need help with anything. I hope everything works out well for you both.Take care.
Sorry to say but if your daughter hasn't had the time to phone, she isn't going to be any better if you move close to her. If your daughter wanted you to move she would be there helping you do it, not just telling YOU to do it. She should be angry at herself for her own shortcomings and maybe that is part of her lashing out.
My prayers are with you. It is such a difficult and stressful situation.
When your husband gets through the surgery take advantage of the rehab in a facility. It is much better than any home program and Medicare allows a certain amount. The social workers know about and can arrange home health care after the stint in the facility. You need a break and support for yourself. Caretaker burn out can take your life and then where would your husband be. There is help out there for both of you. Maybe this situation is a gateway to more help. We can pray it is.
Praying for you and your family and the medical team in the coming days/weeks. Please reach out and accept any needed help for your sake as well as your DH.
So sorry for what you are going through. My DH also had frontal lobe dementia. He was a painter and the doctor said it was due to lead poisoning from the paint. He was in two temporary places before going into permanent care, and after being there about a month he said "I wont be going anywhere else, will I". They get so used to a daily routine and it doesn't take much to upset them, as you would understand. Prayers for both of you. (())
You and DH are in my prayers!
Sending prayers for all of you for support and healing.
DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's & frontotemp... (
Done!!! Sending warm hugs your way, charbaby!
I don't think a move is the answer. Where you are is familiar to him. Although he may have dementia or Alzheimer's he knows where he is at. On some level. Moving can be very traumatizing to him. If you are making the move, then move where you have a support system, and help. You are very courageous for doing all this for him, but honey, it will cause you to be overwhelmed and may even cause you to get sick.
I took care of mom the last 2-3 years of her life, 24/7. I would reach a point I would have to call my brother to take the 5 hour drive to give me a 2-3 day break. Not sleeping but for a few hours a day, not eating right, up and down all day, , feeding her, helping he walk, what sleep I got was on the floor by her bed as she woke up confused and tried to climb out of bed, it all got to be to much. I wouldn't change it, I am glad I got to do it, but breaks were wonderful!
Get some help if you can...you deserve it.
Prayers for you and your family. I am wondering if your DH will be sent home soon after the surgery, he may not be. A friend close to me fell and shattered her hip, she was in the hospital a few days after surgery but then transfered to a care facility that was cheaper than the hospital, it was not a nursing home but I imagine similar. It's a tough job keeping track and care of another, especially if they are unable to do much in the way of helping. Take care of yourself please.
Oh, dear Charlotte, I have sometimes forgotten that you are caring for your husband with Alzheimer's. I do hope that he comes through the surgery well and recovers well, too. And you will definitely be in my thoughts and have my deepest hope that this situation gets easier for you and for your husband. I know this is a very difficult situation for you both.
(a regular here)
Charbaby - I am so sad to hear about your family. You have been given very good advice here. I can only add - this too shall pass.
(I was shocked to see your name is Charlotte. I always pictured a charred baby and pondered why you would choose that.)
Prayers for your hubby and you and the surgical team.... hugs...