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Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him 'Do you want the winner of the next race?'

Paddy replies 'No tanks, oi've only got a small yard'.



Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station. Mick 'What if one explodes before we get there?'

Paddy: 'We'll lie and say we only found two'.



A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going....the driver won $52.



Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and says 'Bejasus I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb'. The operation asks, 'is it tickin?' Paddy says 'No, oi tink it's beef'.



Joe says to Paddy 'Close your curtains the next time you're making love to your wife, the whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday'. Paddy says: 'well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday'.



The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil....



Paddy says to Mick: 'I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. Three years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant'. Mick asks: 'So what are you going to do this year?' Paddy replies: 'I'll take her with me'.



Paddy says to Mick: 'Christmas is on a Friday this year'. Mick says: 'Let's hope it's not the 13th'.



Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him: 'Did you find the shampoo?' Paddy says: 'Oi did but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine'.
 

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Me neither....Irish born and bred and very tired of the stereotype. I'm really surprised that a fellow Celt would be so insensitive. I won't lower myself to respond with jokes about teuchters, a term with which SL should be familiar.
Honeygirl said:
Sorry,...but I can't find any humor in jokes where the punchline is that people from Ireland are stupid.
 

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I just don't get that in this day and age this need to feel superior to some other race or ethnicity still exists. Insulting people within the guise of a'joke' is still an insult. It's a form of bullying...ridiculing people to put them in their place and show how much smarter the teller is.
 

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I've had over 60 years of hearing the same "Irish are stupid" jokes, and a lot worse( from MIL) in the era of "No blacks, no dogs and no Irish!" You think I should to tell my daughter that they were just being funny when she had years of bullying at school and still has the scars from pointed sticks poked in the back of her legs because she was upset at being called a "thick Mick?" Maybe I should tell my son who has cerebral palsy that the perpetrators were just exercising their sense of humour when they held him down and smeared bubble gum into his hair because they presumed he was Irish. I should have just smiled when I complained to one boss after the umpteenth time of customers asking me to recount their change because they didn't think the Irish could read and write and he told me "you'll have to be like the other wogs and get over it!" As a result of Brexit, Irish people are being abused and are being told to fxxk off back to Ireland! Most of the time, I've gritted my teeth and ignored it, but I didn't expect it from a fellow Celt, from a country that also experiences it share of racism. In the US, I'm not the target usually, but I deplore it directed at other groups here. BTW...my sense of humor and my lack of political correctness is much appreciated by my friends.
soap-lady said:
C'mon girls. Get a sense of humor. Scottish Lass, I love your stories.
 

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In the future, perhaps we should change the jokes to read, "three Martians walked into a bar..." Would anyone here be insulted by that?
 
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