Knitting and Crochet Forum banner
  • Wondering how to use different site features? Please visit our FAQ. Still have questions? Post to our Community Help section for a speedy response.
1 - 20 of 21 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
461 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
At least 6 years ago I participated in a some type of knitting swap. I am sort of remembering it may have been some type of secret Santa or something like that. I believe you did not share your name, address etc till it was time to mail the gift.
I had knit a scarf for my recipient.
I received a beautiful pair of socks and the woman was kind enough to include extra gifts. I only remember one of the extra gifts was a cable needle, but there were more.

Her gift was exceptional.

About 2 months ago I was cleaning and came across a box I had never opened from a move.
(don't judge)
Inside the box was a envelope. When I opened the envelope, inside was the scarf I had made.
I NEVER mailed it to her.
Feel free to judge now.

I feel terrible and extremely embarrassed. I cannot tell you how shocked I was to find this scarf. It has taken me two months to get the courage to admit this to anyone.

If I had this woman's name and address I would of course send the scarf with along with a apology and a explanation hoping after all these years it would get to her and I could somehow make this up to her...but I do not have it. Nor do I have any memory of where this swap started to try and somehow find her.

After my initial shock and the sick feeling I got in my stomach when I found the envelope, I vaguely remembered wanting to add some gifts before I sent it and I must have put the envelope aside and forgot about it. I operated a small store at this time which we had to suddenly close, I found the scarf in a box of stuff from the store. I assume I forgot about it in the confusion.
That is not a excuse, my behavior is inexcusable, it's just the only explanation I have for not mailing the gift.
To make it worse, I am sure I probably did not even send a "thank you" as I would have put this in the envelope with the gift.

I cannot even imagine how slighted this woman must have felt not receiving a gift in return and especially not even a thank you.

The socks were absolutely beautiful, but did not fit my huge feet. I gave them to my Mom who loved them. At least I didn't wear the socks myself. Knowing I had got the pleasure of the gift myself would make this all the worse.

I am not sure why I am writing this other than to confess, and to hope that by some miracle the woman who made the beautiful blue socks belongs to Knitting Paradise reads this and contacts me. Or perhaps a friend of hers will read this and let me know how to find her or ask her to contact me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
887 Posts
Confession is good for the soul, but don't be so hard on yourself. Here's hoping your swap partner does read this and gets in touch.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
What a story! First, let yourself off the hook. I'm sure something crazy was going on so that you forgot. Because you feel so bad about it I wouldn't dwell... you have paid your penance. It would be amazing if someone recognizes this story or knows the person. Second, I'm sure you have done a lot of good things to "pay it forward". If it were me, my first thought would be that the person organizing the swap had missed me. Then realize that life happens and just wish the person well.

Thank you for sharing. I hope you feel better and stop kicking yourself!

Barb aka Bearsmom
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,971 Posts
If you don't have any luck finding the woman, maybe you could donate the scarf to a women's shelter, or hospital. This might make you feel better.

Scoot915 said:
At least 6 years ago I participated in a some type of knitting swap. I am sort of remembering it may have been some type of secret Santa or something like that. I believe you did not share your name, address etc till it was time to mail the gift.
I had knit a scarf for my recipient.
I received a beautiful pair of socks and the woman was kind enough to include extra gifts. I only remember one of the extra gifts was a cable needle, but there were more.

Her gift was exceptional.

About 2 months ago I was cleaning and came across a box I had never opened from a move.
(don't judge)
Inside the box was a envelope. When I opened the envelope, inside was the scarf I had made.
I NEVER mailed it to her.
Feel free to judge now.

I feel terrible and extremely embarrassed. I cannot tell you how shocked I was to find this scarf. It has taken me two months to get the courage to admit this to anyone.

If I had this woman's name and address I would of course send the scarf with along with a apology and a explanation hoping after all these years it would get to her and I could somehow make this up to her...but I do not have it. Nor do I have any memory of where this swap started to try and somehow find her.

After my initial shock and the sick feeling I got in my stomach when I found the envelope, I vaguely remembered wanting to add some gifts before I sent it and I must have put the envelope aside and forgot about it. I operated a small store at this time which we had to suddenly close, I found the scarf in a box of stuff from the store. I assume I forgot about it in the confusion.
That is not a excuse, my behavior is inexcusable, it's just the only explanation I have for not mailing the gift.
To make it worse, I am sure I probably did not even send a "thank you" as I would have put this in the envelope with the gift.

I cannot even imagine how slighted this woman must have felt not receiving a gift in return and especially not even a thank you.

The socks were absolutely beautiful, but did not fit my huge feet. I gave them to my Mom who loved them. At least I didn't wear the socks myself. Knowing I had got the pleasure of the gift myself would make this all the worse.

I am not sure why I am writing this other than to confess, and to hope that by some miracle the woman who made the beautiful blue socks belongs to Knitting Paradise reads this and contacts me. Or perhaps a friend of hers will read this and let me know how to find her or ask her to contact me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
461 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
MzKnitCro said:
If you don't have any luck finding the woman, maybe you could donate the scarf to a women's shelter, or hospital. This might make you feel better.

Good idea, there is woman in my area who accepts scarf and other items for homeless shelters here in Pittsburgh. I have made a few items for her in the past and intend to make more.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,199 Posts
If you don't have any luck finding the woman, maybe you could donate the scarf to a women's shelter, or hospital. This might make you feel better.
That is exactly what I was going to say. I am sure the woman was not nearly as worried as you feel bad about it. Let your self off the hook. Say to yourself what words you would say to her, if the situation were reversed... probably something like "It's totally OK. Life happens and I really didn't need another scarf anyway. Pass it along to some truly needy soul". Now, hearing it that way, doesn't it make sense? And yes, I have done similar things in my lifetime. We all have, but only a treasured few are honest enough to admit it.
Know that the person who ends up wearing that scarf was the originally intended recipient. You just didn't know it then. God Bless you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19,012 Posts
Don't be so hard on yourself. Similar things have happened to many. That's life. Things happen. As stated above, donate the scarf to a shelter or other needy place and know that the scarf is going to be very much appreciated.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
24,583 Posts
I appreciate your words and understand how your heart and soul must feel right now. Your moral compass is 'spot on', but you must forgive yourself and move forward. Each new day is a gift from above, and with a heart like yours, you will be a blessing to others.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,270 Posts
I'm sure a lot of us have something we're ashamed or embarrassed about. It's all part of life. Funny, it's much easier to forgive others than ourselves. If God forgives you, and He does, then it would be pretty arrogant not to forgive yourself. Sort of like you know better than Him. And if you don't believe in God, forgive yourself anyway. It was a mistake, not a deliberate act.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
461 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thanks to all for the sympathy and kind words.

I was not looking for sympathy, but re-reading my post it sure seems like I was !

Should have just wrote this when I found that envelope, instead of letting it fester. Guess I was rather dramatic by the time I put my feeling into words.

I realize this is not the worst thing in the world, and if the situation was reversed I would not be upset but would have figured something like this happened.

I will be fine. Am still holding onto a little hope that woman will read the post though.

Thank you all again!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
13,778 Posts
Bearsmom said:
What a story! First, let yourself off the hook. I'm sure something crazy was going on so that you forgot. Because you feel so bad about it I wouldn't dwell... you have paid your penance. It would be amazing if someone recognizes this story or knows the person. Second, I'm sure you have done a lot of good things to "pay it forward". If it were me, my first thought would be that the person organizing the swap had missed me. Then realize that life happens and just wish the person well.

Thank you for sharing. I hope you feel better and stop kicking yourself!

Barb aka Bearsmom
I was thinking the same thing... everyone makes mistakes. "pay it forward" by knitting some fingerless gloves for the lady who gives you coffee at the drive-thru, or hand a scarf to the guy who collects your tolls, something nice for someone who is not expecting it.

I DO feel for you, though. When I read your story, I got a pit in my stomach. Yes for you, but also because I have done a similar thing a time or two.... try not to punish yourself and lose sleep over it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
277 Posts
Really? That was me. I was wondering what happened to you and hoped nothing untoward happened. I enjoyed making and sending you the items and wanted you to enjoy each one. I am very happy to hear you are OK and life just got in the way. I would be more upset if you were not in good health or something awful happened. I know we do swaps to get suprises from others but remember the gift is in the giving. Sorry for the ruse...it was not me but this is what I would think and feel and I hope you let yourself off the hook. You had good intentions and that counts for a lot.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
81,203 Posts
Would it buck you up to hear another's confession?

There was a knitter who attended our small group's meeting occasionally. Months after I'd last seen her, I received an puffy envelope. In it there was a Christmas card and a lovely illusion-knit red&white dishcloth; the illusion being a candy cane. I set it aside - where I see it daily! - intending to write back ... send a knitted something ... or at least phone her to say thanks. I did none of those things. I never saw her again. I never wrote to her. I never phoned her. I remained my usual introverted self and still feel guilty when I pass that dishcloth on my way in or out of the front door. No, I've never used it either.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,955 Posts
I don't think you are looking for sympathy at all. It certainly doesn't sound that way. But you may need to hear that others understand what happened. We all need to hear that it's ok sometimes after learning of a mistake.

Maybe the lady will see this and you can send her the scarf afterward but if not, please let yourself off the hook.

I am 45 and can't believe the things I forget about. I never used to need to write anything down but now have to write everything down. I can easily see how this happened when you had so much on your plate!
 
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top Bottom