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Goodness, you nice people might be getting tired of me. I'm always asking for help!

I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar problem.

I am 58 years old, and though I have not "officially" been declared disabled, I consider myself to be so. I have scoliosis, severe arthritis, can't stand for more than short periods of time, something wrong with my right leg that has yet to be diagnosed, yada, yada, yada.....

my problem is, i cannot seem to develop a relationship with my grandchildren because of it. I have four, 3 girls and 1 boy. I am very blessed. They are all four and under, so they are of the age that they are very active. They don't understand that Grammie can't do a whole lot except sit and play with them.

They have lots of family members that get up and carry them around, get down on the floor and play with toys, and this is just beyond what I am able to do. I'm not sure how to connect with these babies. I have thought about carrying things in my purse, or bringing a "Grammie bag" with stuff for us to do. But they are just so active, they want to be on the go. I'm worried that my plan won't work, won't keep their attention. I watch them with other people, and they seem to interact very well with the more active members of their families that can bend and carry and crouch. I just can't do that.

So I was curious if anyone else has had this issue, and how you deal with it. It makes me very sad. My youngest granddaughter is 11 months old, and actually cries when I try to hold her. I've always had dreams of being the fun grandma, but I am failing miserably. Anyone have ideas?
 

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The first thing that comes to mind is books. Kids have to stay still some of the time! I can't have my grandkids sit on my knee because of pain in my upper legs however they love to snuggle in beside me on the couch while I read to them. The other thing I do when I look after them is allow them to build play etc with lego, blocks ands craft on my dining room table. So I can also join in without having to get down on the floor. Just two suggestions before I fly out the door this morning. Keep working at it as grandkids are precious. Goods luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Sjlegrandma said:
The first thing that comes to mind is books. Kids have to stay still some of the time! I can't have my grandkids sit on my knee because of pain in my upper legs however they love to snuggle in beside me on the couch while I read to them. The other thing I do when I look after them is allow them to build play etc with lego, blocks ands craft on my dining room table. So I can also join in without having to get down on the floor. Just two suggestions before I fly out the door this morning. Keep working at it as grandkids are precious. Goods luck.
i think books are a wonderful idea! i think i'll see what i can find. we will find some blocks too, and i know i have some craft things.

thank you for the suggestions!
 

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Don't beat yourself up. You might be amazed at how well they will adapt. I have seen this with ours as hubby has mobility problems. Just have some books where they can sit for about 5 seconds while you tell them what the animal is and what sound it makes, or some of the little nursery rhymes with your fingers, or finger puppets.The older ones could maybe play the memory game, it is good for our memories. Watch one of their tv shows with them, there are some good adult-friendly ones now that I have been introduced to. Just enjoy them.
 

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Sitting colouring with them or making little things. I always felt the other nana was better at entertaining than me. Distance doesn't help in my case. Hope you get some great ideas. Think babies can be funny with anyone.
 

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I have mobility difficulties & have 4 wonderful GSs. The eldest is 8., 2 are nearly 5 & a baby. The boys all know that grandma's legs don't work well & seem to adapt to it. The one thing I can say is I can give the best cuddles & they all love to spend time with me, I feel that is one of Grandma's roles.
 

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What about sitting on a chair if outside and playing catch.....they can run and get it if you miss the catch. If inside can you roll the ball....but I can play catch in the hallway. What about teaching them" jacks" on a card table.....easy games like the "care bears game" pm me and I'll send you the game as it is too easy for a 6 year old. What about matching games (they need that for skills in school)......I'll keep on thinking.

ps.....I have the record of asking for help on here....don't worry everybody is wonderful!
 

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I would think that there are a lot of grandmas out there who aren't active because of disabilities, illness, or just plain old age. Coloring books and reading books to them should work, even tea parties where you're served some make believe tea. I'm sure that at some point anyone who is taking care of them needs time to recover--and that includes Mom and Dad. That's when they have to sit still for a bit. Don't worry about what other relatives can do with them--you do what you can.
 

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I have never known how to play with children. All four of my grandchildren know I am there for them at all times. We cuddle, kiss and do things other than get down on the floor to play. Other people provide play time and I provide unconditional love. They accept me for who I am.
 

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How about making cookies, you can sit at the kitchen table and let the little ones help.

For playing outside - bubbles. There are some bubble containers that have the large rings that make the bigger bubbles and the kids can try to catch them. You sit in the chair and they run around.

Reading, especially simple books that they can learn from.

Coloring, and painting with water colors.

Children's card games - Go Fish, Uno, etc.

You could bring a "surprise" bag with you, with little toys, books, etc., and have one of them pick out something and that's the activity you do.

You can google indoor activities for children and find lots of ideas.

Here are some other ideas for indoor activities:

http://www.whatdowedoallday.com/indoor-activities-for-kids
 

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Hi,
Do not put too much on yourself. I too am disabled and cannot do what I used to do. If my grandchildren cannot do things with me, then their parents need to talk to them and explain the situation. I'm sure that there are games that don't need too much physical activity. Your grandchildren are active and you can't do it. So just lay back and watch them Maybe when they get tired, you could read them a story or tell them things about their mommy or daddy when they were kids.It's not your duty to be active with them. Bea
 

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starryblu said:
Goodness, you nice people might be getting tired of me. I'm always asking for help!

I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar problem.

I am 58 years old, and though I have not "officially" been declared disabled, I consider myself to be so. I have scoliosis, severe arthritis, can't stand for more than short periods of time, something wrong with my right leg that has yet to be diagnosed, yada, yada, yada.....

my problem is, i cannot seem to develop a relationship with my grandchildren because of it. I have four, 3 girls and 1 boy. I am very blessed. They are all four and under, so they are of the age that they are very active. They don't understand that Grammie can't do a whole lot except sit and play with them.

They have lots of family members that get up and carry them around, get down on the floor and play with toys, and this is just beyond what I am able to do. I'm not sure how to connect with these babies. I have thought about carrying things in my purse, or bringing a "Grammie bag" with stuff for us to do. But they are just so active, they want to be on the go. I'm worried that my plan won't work, won't keep their attention. I watch them with other people, and they seem to interact very well with the more active members of their families that can bend and carry and crouch. I just can't do that.

So I was curious if anyone else has had this issue, and how you deal with it. It makes me very sad. My youngest granddaughter is 11 months old, and actually cries when I try to hold her. I've always had dreams of being the fun grandma, but I am failing miserably. Anyone have ideas?
I think it's a great idea to think of activities that you can do with them maybe cutting, sticking, colouring, bark rubbing anything really As an aside have the children been told to be careful with you as in not to hurt or knock you etc this happened to me after an op and the little ones were very wary of me for a little while. Also maybe you haven't found your niche yet my grands other grandma is the day trip and swimming type activity grandma and I'm the snuggle up with a movie, colouring, knitting,bake a cake,sleepover grandma. Both happy, both different
 

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I had a grandmother who couldn't do those things and had a very close relationship with her. Try and find some things to keep in a "special bag" and take it with you. Change the things once in a while but keep the favourites too. Books are always a good idea especially the ones that have tabs to pull or lift up and things to find in the picture. Don't forget, your g.children are still quite young and will get more attached as they get older. Be interested in what their activities are, what they like, tell them funny rhymes and laugh a lot. Try and be patient as they will grow to love you! I still have an introverted GD that doesn't always give me hugs so I just spend a lot of time listening to her...
Good luck and know that you have as much to offer as the more energetic family members!!
 

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It is said "don't expect and you won't be disappointed". Is true. If we expect too much of our g.children, they will withdraw. So just keep one foot forward and keep a cane to help with the other foot. Let them come to you and hold your arms out to grab them. They love the suspense of teasing you. Just smile and give them encouragement.
 

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Those all sound like good suggestions... one thing is certain, if you are always patient with them they will respond to that, at least in my experience. Kids are very adaptable, as others have said. My DD was terrified of soap bubbles as a toddler! Hilarious! :sm12: I found teaching color mixing( finger paint, watercolors, whatever) was great fun for my niece's.
 

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I let my grands when younger, build a tent with blankets and chairs from the dining table, threw in some blankets and pillows, made popcorn and watched movies. I sat in my chair outside the tent door. At Christmas we made wreaths from coffee filters, bag full of little decorations to add to the wreath. Small nature hunts around my yard, bugs they found, leaves, etc. Then looked them up on the computer, to see what they were. Little work books for their age group. They learned to count and the colors etc. Before bed, we had cookies and milk and talked about the day. Bedtime story. I always have a grandma bag. Even the older ones, 23 and 20, find the bag. Always little treats in it. The other two are 13 and 8 now. They love the grandma bag, they never know what may be in it. Silly putty seems to be a big hit..
 

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starryblu said:
Goodness, you nice people might be getting tired of me. I'm always asking for help!

I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar problem.

I am 58 years old, and though I have not "officially" been declared disabled, I consider myself to be so. I have scoliosis, severe arthritis, can't stand for more than short periods of time, something wrong with my right leg that has yet to be diagnosed, yada, yada, yada.....

my problem is, i cannot seem to develop a relationship with my grandchildren because of it. I have four, 3 girls and 1 boy. I am very blessed. They are all four and under, so they are of the age that they are very active. They don't understand that Grammie can't do a whole lot except sit and play with them.

They have lots of family members that get up and carry them around, get down on the floor and play with toys, and this is just beyond what I am able to do. I'm not sure how to connect with these babies. I have thought about carrying things in my purse, or bringing a "Grammie bag" with stuff for us to do. But they are just so active, they want to be on the go. I'm worried that my plan won't work, won't keep their attention. I watch them with other people, and they seem to interact very well with the more active members of their families that can bend and carry and crouch. I just can't do that.

So I was curious if anyone else has had this issue, and how you deal with it. It makes me very sad. My youngest granddaughter is 11 months old, and actually cries when I try to hold her. I've always had dreams of being the fun grandma, but I am failing miserably. Anyone have ideas?
Not a Grandma, but I sometimes take my younger nieces to the park where they play on the climbling equipment. I sit there watching and respond to their call outs. Perhaps suggest play dates in a near by park with play equipment. Also kids of any age love dress ups, both boys and girls so maybe a bag of funny outfilts.
 

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The children would basically understand if you explain the situation to them. I am sure they have seen people who can't walk at all. Ask them for suggestions on what they would like to do, that you are ABLE to do with them. Even making up stories is great fun for them. I am somewhat limited in mobility also, and my two grand daughters understand I can't do some things, they are 5 and 3....we always have great fun.
 

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What about face painting? I bought face paints for my 4 year old granddaughter. I let her paint my face, and she does her own face too. It's a gentle activity and the paint is easily wiped off with a baby wipe.
 

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For young children, you could read books to them. Let them pick out a book and you read it to them. They could bring them from their own home when visiting you.
Color in coloring books with them.
As they get a little older, you could play age appropriate board games with them at the table.
Other sit down games would be: I see something blue in the room and let them guess what you are thinking about that is blue and so on. The one that guesses correctly then picks a color in the room and everyone else tries to guess what they are seeing.
You could have them leave the room while you hide something like a small teddy bear for them to find and call them back into the room to look for it. Then they hide the teddy bear or whatever. I did that with ten tiny teddy bears and they would love looking for all of them.
Another thing I did when my grand daughters were small was to get all my old silk scarves and old necklaces and put them in a box and they would dress up in them and pretend they were going to a party. I put on the music for them to dance to. They would tie the scarves into skirts and tops over their clothing like an outfit and put on the jewelry. It was very funny. They loved it. You just sit and watch them.
You can watch Disney movie videos with them; they like that when you watch with them.
I have a ten year old and a 12 year old grand daughters that I paint with. I buy canvas boards, and I already have the brushes and paints. I look for simple type pictures on the internet and print them out to give them ideas and inspiration. They pencil them onto the canvas boards with my help and paint them with my suggestions and assistance. We have done a few of those now and they love doing that. They have them on display at their home. You can buy the supplies at Walmart. They have now become interested in art.
They also like to do coloring page contests. They each rip out a coloring page from a coloring book, or I print them out from the internet and they color the page and I judge which one did the best coloring by giving each coloring page a rating of between 1 - 10; their own mother, my daughter wanted to do it also, lol. I point out what they could have done that would have improved their coloring; so then they want to do it again and try the new tips I gave them.
 
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