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I hope this is not too long. Cousin in Malta, 50th wedding anniversary celebrates with his family at a restaurant which he pays for. Then he invites his neighbors to restaurant (19) which he also pays for. He comes to the US for a holiday, staying with my brother. We have been over to see him a couple of times, we get on well. Tonight he is coming to my house to celebrate my sons 51st birthday. Also there will be my grandson, another son and wife, plus my daughter and partner. Saturday my son and wife have invited everyone over for a pool party and bbq. Cousin announced today that he wants to celebrate his 50th with the family in the US, so is organizing a restaurant meal which he invited my husband and I. He has invited also my brother and wife, his eldest daughter along with her 22 year old son and eighteen year old daughter. My brothers middle daughter, partner and 15 year old daughter. And lastly his youngest daughter and husband.but my children, partners and grandson are not invited. My reaction is I do not want to go, if my kids are not welcome then neither am I. It's a dilemma.
 

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no1girl said:
I don't agree with you, sorry. Their party, their guest list.
Could not agree more.

My parents are a bit peeved with my brother for similar reasons. He is coming here for his 25th anniversary. Bringing his grown up kids and his parents in law. Not invited my parents.
His guest list, his money.
 

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maybe you offer to pay for your own children?
 

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maybe you offer to pay for your own children?
 

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gozolady said:
Could not agree more.

My parents are a bit peeved with my brother for similar reasons. He is coming here for his 25th anniversary. Bringing his grown up kids and his parents in law. Not invited my parents.
His guest list, his money.
That sounds very mean spirited to leave out his parents. Especially as he's invited his in laws. :sm25:
 

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Kathleen's daughter said:
maybe you offer to pay for your own children?
I think this has just been an honest mistake on his part, as he seems a very generous person.
If you do what "Kathleen's daughter" suggests, it may just work itself out to your advantage,
otherwise you may have to accept it at face value & go and enjoy yourselves or stay home and be
very unhappy. Your choice, I guess.
 

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Hm.

I'm... trying to see it as if it were me.
I don't see my cousins all this often. I mean, for years at a time. But still, I do have wonderful childhood memories with them, I do love them - and if I was to celebrate an anniversary with my family, than yes, they are my family - from as long as I remember myself. Their grown-up children, on the other hand... I have absolutely nothing against them, all I've heard about them are good things, but the fact is I've only met them like 2-3 times in my life, and that for minutes at a time, and at least one of the occasions the girl was like 4 and she will be 20 now. So... what do I have to do with them? We don't share memories. We can't talk about old times. It's not that I mind them, it's just that it would be... awkward - for me, and probably for them - to share this particular moment.
 

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ohsusana said:
That sounds very mean spirited to leave out his parents. Especially as he's invited his in laws. :sm25:
I totally agree with that!
 

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Life is too short and family too precious to hold on to unintended insults or slights. Tell the man your kids would love to be included in his celebration with rest of the extended family. Pay yourself if you must, dress up beautifully and have a grand time. Those memories will be much more delightful in years to come.
 

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ohsusana said:
That sounds very mean spirited to leave out his parents. Especially as he's invited his in laws. :sm25:
Harsh judgement. My brothers in laws gave ALWAYS been there for my brother and his wife.
Long story short, my parents offered to take my homeless brother in, but not his 8 month pregnant wife and 2year old child....
Yes it was years ago, but,,,,,,,,
 

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gozolady said:
Harsh judgement. My brothers in laws gave ALWAYS been there for my brother and his wife.
Long story short, my parents offered to take my homeless brother in, but not his 8 month pregnant wife and 2year old child....
Yes it was years ago, but,,,,,,,,
Sorry to judge without knowing the story. Have your parents ever said sorry to your brother and his wife? If not then I can understand the exclusion. Families eh? :sm19:
 

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ohsusana said:
Sorry to judge without knowing the story. Have your parents ever said sorry to your brother and his wife? If not then I can understand the exclusion. Families eh? :sm19:
No apology. No acknowledgement that they were even wrong...
You know what they say... You can choose your friends, but are stuck with your family!
 

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yover8 said:
Life is too short and family too precious to hold on to unintended insults or slights. Tell the man your kids would love to be included in his celebration with rest of the extended family. Pay yourself if you must, dress up beautifully and have a grand time. Those memories will be much more delightful in years to come.
This definitely sounds like the best solution. This way you won't miss any of the family and won't need to nurse a grudge against your cousin. Win-win!
 

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Is this the last "hurrah"? Or does he like to p a r t y?? I would have been resturanted and bbq'd out by now. Stay home... oops, maybe he is inviting all your brother's family as he is staying with them and added you and your husband as a courtesy??
 
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