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my DD's x roommate from college is in a situation, where some of it is due to paying off student loans, she has $270 to her name and a non paying internship acceptance on the other side of the country from where she is now. Obviously she has not enough $ for a move or an apartment, and is hoping to find a job there too.

Really what she needs to do is find a job where she is now and forget the internship, forget about trying to move and so forth. Lots of college graduates are in her situation..but she has additional problems..a father who abandoned her and a mother who is disabled.

My conscious is bugging me to try to help out with $..knowing I will not get it back and knowing she needs a lot, more than I can give her. At the same time here I am..playing with spinning wheels and fiber, spending extra money on esoteric fun stuff. I really cannot save the world, probably not even her situation..but still I have the impulse...
 

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Is the unpaid internship something that will lead to a full-time job in the future? Maybe she could talk to her potential internship sponsor to find out how others in her situation live without an income.
 

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Our middle son had a girlfriend who was emotionally abused by her parents. We took her in at age 22 and my husband and I continue to "parent" her...she was very depressed...unemployed...did have a 2 yr degree...

Long story short, it is never a mistake to show a fellow human love and emotional support. Financial support can turn into a bottomless pit without limits and clear boundaries in my opinion.

Your instincts are usually right. These young people need mentors, especially young women...you know, teach them to fish, don't give them a fish dinner...good luck!
 

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What's wrong with going to the quick food places and apply for a job..be it p.t. Sometimes by being an easy mark, you get more than you bargained for. Life is full of sad stories, it's the experience of going through hard times that teaches us to be humble, and strive to do better ..I would like to see some confirmation on this apprenticeship..before committing yourself for more than you can afford to. If she needs a train/bus fare, fine but if she needs someone to take care of her expenses ..she has to find a way to do it.
 

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AI agree with joinbee-she can always find a part time entry level job-either where she is now or where the internship is. Making adult choices sometimes making difficult ones-ie.; maybe not taking the unpaid internship. She still has to get across the country to the unpaid job, find a place to live and then work. Transportation? food? furtniture? She might have to enroll in a school, live in dorm, and apply for a loan/scholarship/grant to be able to take the internship. Sounds like she needs to do another year of planning to take advantage of this internship.
 

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There's a saying that applies here: "Look before you leap"..I think the lady in question has to delve into this situation more than looking for someone to finance her way to this apprenticeship and all that it incurs.
 

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Northernrobin said:
my DD's x roommate from college is in a situation, where some of it is due to paying off student loans, she has $270 to her name and a non paying internship acceptance on the other side of the country from where she is now. Obviously she has not enough $ for a move or an apartment, and is hoping to find a job there too.

Really what she needs to do is find a job where she is now and forget the internship, forget about trying to move and so forth. Lots of college graduates are in her situation..but she has additional problems..a father who abandoned her and a mother who is disabled.

My conscious is bugging me to try to help out with $..knowing I will not get it back and knowing she needs a lot, more than I can give her. At the same time here I am..playing with spinning wheels and fiber, spending extra money on esoteric fun stuff. I really cannot save the world, probably not even her situation..but still I have the impulse...
My opinion is this; if she is not the kind of person who is going to expect your help time after time. Then I say help her. Even if you cannot solve all of her problems it would be a great help just to ease them. Sometimes we all need "a leg up."
 

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If you decide to help, make sure you set your boundaries. Put it in writing if you have to. Some people just need that little support, others will try to take advantage of it. Only you can decide which type she is.
 

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I second all the good advice already given, and wish to add this: She can get a deferment on her student loans. All she has to do is to ask, and she will be granted the deferment. One less thing to worry about until she gets more established with a job.
 

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Northernrobin said:
my DD's x roommate from college is in a situation, where some of it is due to paying off student loans, she has $270 to her name and a non paying internship acceptance on the other side of the country from where she is now. Obviously she has not enough $ for a move or an apartment, and is hoping to find a job there too.

Really what she needs to do is find a job where she is now and forget the internship, forget about trying to move and so forth. Lots of college graduates are in her situation..but she has additional problems..a father who abandoned her and a mother who is disabled.

My conscious is bugging me to try to help out with $..knowing I will not get it back and knowing she needs a lot, more than I can give her. At the same time here I am..playing with spinning wheels and fiber, spending extra money on esoteric fun stuff. I really cannot save the world, probably not even her situation..but still I have the impulse...
Please, please think this over carefully before you give her any money. I am assuming you learned of her situation through your daughter? What does she think about it?
 

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jonibee said:
What's wrong with going to the quick food places and apply for a job..be it p.t. Sometimes by being an easy mark, you get more than you bargained for. Life is full of sad stories, it's the experience of going through hard times that teaches us to be humble, and strive to do better ..I would like to see some confirmation on this apprenticeship..before committing yourself for more than you can afford to. If she needs a train/bus fare, fine but if she needs someone to take care of her expenses ..she has to find a way to do it.
I agree. Perhaps she can get counselling from the college she attended. Seems unreasonable to me to intern when she's in such a bind for $ and her student loan will continue to accrue interest.
 
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