[mousepotato]

My long-time friend and traveling companion took up knitting a few years ago. I've been mentoring her when she needs help, but she feels that she's an excellent and knowledgable knitter (not, I'm afraid) and is often knitting things for other people's babies. Her neice had a child just after Christmas (I know her neice also, she was one of my caseload during her college years), and my friend was deep into knitting for the baby. Having seen some of the pieces she had knit, I had decided that it would be in the best interests of our friendship for me not to knit a gift for the baby since the difference in the quality of the work would be too obvious. She was here yesterday and saw some of the toys I've been knitting lately (Itty Bitty Toys is a must have for grandmas) and broadly hinted that she knew a baby who'd love a knitted toy or two. I really would prefer not to knit for this baby so as not to cause hard feelings between my friend and I, but I'm torn. Give me your take on this one.

 

[jbandsma]

If she's knitting garments and you're knitting toys for the same baby, the difference in quality will not be so obvious. As long as the 2 of you are doing different types of items, I'd say go for it.

 

[Homeshppr]

I applaud you for being so sensitive to the feelings of your friend.

You didn't say whether she was hinting your knitted toys should be a baby gift or whether she wanted to create her own from patterns you'd used. Either way, I'd go with her wishes to make her happy. She obviously loves and respects your work (whether or not she notices the difference in the quality of the workmanship).

 

[Dreamweaver]

I agree. She hinted about them so she is either oblivious to the differences or doesn't care... She probably would be more hurt that you didn't chose to do something for her niece.

 

[nogginpodge]

Yes, go for it. You can't compare a garment with a toy. This would be a safe option for you still to knit for the baby without offending your friend.

You are a gentle, sensitive and caring person.

 

[5mmdpns]

Everyone knits in their own unique way and should not be compared. Having said that, I do know that many will and do compare quality. Is it possible you have a toy that you would crochet instead of knitting? That way there would be no comparison of her not so neat knitting items. Just a thought. And ask for the niece's address so you can send the gift yourself rather than having your friend send it. This would also save a little face to not have them go together.

 

[ditty]

your knitted toys must look really nice for her to ask you to make some for the gift. as a friend I would go for it and make it. she would appreciate your effort too. we all have our expertise and this would make her happy.

 

[Angela W]

That's tricky, but you might be making a mountain out of a molehill .... give the baby just ONE toy.... and tell your friend that you have committed to some knitting for (a) someone else or (b) a charity so they can sell the items to raise funds or (c) anything else you can think of. That way you aren't offending your friend but you will please the baby and its mother, and you yourself will have had the pleasure of making the toy.

 

[carolky]

I wish there were more people with your sensitivity. I hope your friend knows what a special person she has for a friend.

 

[Robin Redhead]

It sounds like she's seen your knitted toys and admires them. While the differences in knitting quality are apparent to you, they don't seem to be on her radar, so I'd be as generous I would like to be with the toys. I'm sure her niece and the baby will appreciate them.

 

[Janet.Sar]

I have a feeling you're probably the kind of person who will stand back and let your friend knit for her relatives baby without embarrassing her, otherwise you wouldn't have shown this much awareness of her position.

 

[Cindy M]

Maybe you could work with her to make a baby layette. She could do a sweater, you could do the hat and booties. One of you could do a matching blanket. Talk to her. Might be a goodwill effort all around.

 

[Angela W]

This reply is nothing to do with knitting... but I saw your photo of a corgi! I adore them, had one many years ago... rarely, very rarely, saw them when I lived in USA (two separate three year periods in Calif... southern first, then northern; then 13 yrs in Houston, TX... where someone bought a house near us and he had two corgis.

 

[AMZ]

I know the different from great knitting to so so knitting.
It may take me years that I don't have to become a great knitter. I can tell you my grandchildren, nieces and nephews line up for items even ask me to make for their friend. We as knitter may know the differents but if someone doesn't knit they don't care if everything isn't what we'd like it to be. They see the love that goes into the product. But then that maybe the artist in me that can take a mistake and see the beauty. I don't frog unless I have to.

 

[StellasKnits]

I'd go for it. I think that was a huge hint that she'd love for the child to have one of your little toys.

 

[Dsynr]

I know the different from great knitting to so so knitting.
It may take me years that I don't have to become a great knitter. I can tell you my grandchildren, nieces and nephews line up for items even ask me to make for their friend. We as knitter may know the differents but if someone doesn't knit they don't care if everything isn't what we'd like it to be. They see the love that goes into the product. But then that maybe the artist in me that can take a mistake and see the beauty. I don't frog unless I have to.

I'm wit' U, AMZ. I make stuff and give it away or use it. If it ain't perfect, it ain't perfect. So there!
I make a lot of washcloths to learn patterns and techniques; but if there's a mistake in a garment that will not be noticed "from the back of a galloping horse" I don't sweat it. Sometimes I don't sweat it whether it can be seen or not, it just depends.
If there's a mistake that makes a difference; or the yarn and the st don't seem to be working, I'll frog it and fix it or do something else; but that's rarely the case.
My opinion [+ $2.25 in coins] will get U on a crosstown bus in NYC.

 

[sockyarn]

If she did not think you toys were good enough then she would not be doing the "Big Hint".

 

[mousepotato]

Trust me, she is aware that she has knitting issues, but she loves it anyway. But that is the reason I had originally chosen not to knit for the baby. I had intended to knit the Baby Tree of Life afghan for her, but my friend was doing an afghan/sweater/hat/bootie set that I ended up, um, adjusting the mistakes on, including her having knit one front as an extension of the back and explaining that the direction of the work changed from the sleeve/yoke section to the fronts and the back directions because she just didn't get the pattern (no, she's not unintelligent, she's a college professor). I suspect that I'll probably do the hippo from Itty Bitty Toys for her, or one of the dolls as time goes on.

 

[mousepotato]

I know the different from great knitting to so so knitting.
It may take me years that I don't have to become a great knitter. I can tell you my grandchildren, nieces and nephews line up for items even ask me to make for their friend. We as knitter may know the differents but if someone doesn't knit they don't care if everything isn't what we'd like it to be. They see the love that goes into the product. But then that maybe the artist in me that can take a mistake and see the beauty. I don't frog unless I have to.

I'm wit' U, AMZ. I make stuff and give it away or use it. If it ain't perfect, it ain't perfect. So there!
I make a lot of washcloths to learn patterns and techniques; but if there's a mistake in a garment that will not be noticed "from the back of a galloping horse" I don't sweat it. Sometimes I don't sweat it whether it can be seen or not, it just depends.
If there's a mistake that makes a difference; or the yarn and the st don't seem to be working, I'll frog it and fix it or do something else; but that's rarely the case.
My opinion [+ $2.25 in coins] will get U on a crosstown bus in NYC.

I understand your POV, but my friend simply doesn't see the reason for gauge, and can't tell if she has gauge or not. I've shown her, and even had her rip things out (she has a neighbor who toldl her she didn't need no stinking pattern to fix the lace pattern my friend had mucked up in a spot where it counted, and then put it back wrong, too, and fixed that for her), and just sees no point in knitting so things look handmade instead of homemade. This is one reason I was reluctant to knit for her niece. She wants me to make a toy because she knows I'll do the fiddly pieces and make it look well-done. She doesn't see her own problems, but her mother will.

 

[jejazzington]

Gift her the toy.

She's oblivious to the differences in her work and yours, so it won't make a difference.She is happy enough with her skill level.
And the toy is different enough from a garment or blanket/shawl.

I too, have a friend who thinks she's an expert in all she learns as soon as she learns something.
Would swear she's made of Teflon - some things just don't get in.

No use being subtle, and no sense telling her.
Won't make any difference.And it really does not matter.

I have learned that the response was more about me than her.
Learned to let it go.

As Calderon said : We are all of us
just as God made us.
And often, a great deal worse.

It is wise to know the parameters of our family and friends:
their likes, their dislikes, their abilities and their limits.
Who they are. Who they aren't.
AND LOVE THEM WE DO.

But she wants the toy for her beloved little one, and might wonder why her friend isn't forthcoming.
May even become upset over that.

So, in wisdom and love, let it go.
There is quality in knitting, and quality in loving.

So, I vote for giving the toy.