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OMG...I'm exhausted ...it is easier to do it myself

1925 Views 34 Replies 27 Participants Last post by  Grammy Toni
So, eldest son and wife love to cook...as do I. But after 54 years of it and several illnesses, I can't do it all myself. They flew in from MD yesterday. Cooking today. So far, he has cooked hamburgers and mixed frozen vegetables for lunch, put the turkey in oven, made fancy cranberry sauce, prepped all the sides, cleaned up behind himself as he goes. So why am I exhausted?

"Mom, where's a mixing bowl?"
"Mom, do you have a zester?" "No". "okay, where's the grater?"
"Mom, give me all the ingredients for this, that, the other thing."
"Mom, do you have vinegar?" "yes, it is in the pantry someplace". "I can't find it". Move away...I'll look. Here it is." oh, that's not the kind I want."
"Mom, where is the salad bowl! Cutting board! Etc.
And on and on and on.

I'm too old for this. I'm 78 and can't stand or walk for any length of time. It is great that he wants to do all the cooking and cleaning but it is exhausting for me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining but I've jumped up 500 times since breakfast.

And now, he took dishes out of the cabinet. And there was detritus on one of them. "What's going on in this house", he yells. So, some buggies got into the cabinet...this is FL!!! we call an exterminator often! Good thing he didn't see the huge palmetto bugs that routinely get in.

..."calm down, the dishwasher is running. We will reload it with these". No. They are washing them by hand!

And the real kicker is that younger son and his new girlfriend were supposed to come from Orlando (we are in Tampa Bay Area on the west coast) and a friend who visited with them sat night felt unwell as the night rolled on and tested positive for Covid so they wanted to know if they should come. We told them not to come.

An hour or so after that decision, he texted and said he had a sore throat and headache. Oh dear!

hope you are all enjoying your families and your holiday. Best wishes.
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When offered "help" from the family I turned it down; although I was exhausted by the end of the day everything worked out OK and we had a nice Thanksgiving. I think our daughter may have pulled a fast one on me when neither I nor her husband could find the baster in the drawer and she just opened the drawer and produced what was not there previously. Our son-in-law had called her and told her about the missing baster and mysteriously it appeared when she arrived.
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We were invited to a niece's house, but it's about 1 1/2 hours away, and I too can no longer drive at night. They eat around 4 pm. My car is in the shop and I'm totally not comfortable in the rental car as it's a bit larger and I'm not able to judge as well. We opted to go to a restaurant and had a lovely turkey dinner. We both ate only some and brought enough home for at least one more meal.
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They've done it a few years in a row, now. Nothing has moved from where it was put 5 yrs ago when we renovated the kitchen but even DH can never find a thing or put it back where it came from!

I wasn't complaining...I was trying to make it funny. I love them both and appreciate all the work they put in. Last year when it came time to put the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes , even though I warned them to watch the broiler...they get done fast...Erica set them on fire.

...this year, they handed it to me to do.

Everything was lovely, they all ate too much, and I've already been informed that next year Thanksgiving is at their house...which they just went to closing on last week. It should get interesting.
Glad your story has a good ending
We were invited to a niece's house, but it's about 1 1/2 hours away, and I too can no longer drive at night. They eat around 4 pm. My car is in the shop and I'm totally not comfortable in the rental car as it's a bit larger and I'm not able to judge as well. We opted to go to a restaurant and had a lovely turkey dinner. We both ate only some and brought enough home for at least one more meal.
I would love to find a local restaurant that serves turkey dinners, but I cannot. :(
It's the hussel and bussel of having a house full of people that's tiring--it's all of what we're used to and quiet is sometimes what us seniors have most of the time. I'm 78 as well and do all the cooking for our holiday dinners including making lard crust for apple and pumpkin pie. If I don't keep baking and cooking, I'm afraid I'll lose it--memory is going way too fast. I go to a senior exercise class three times a week--it's also social, gotta exercise our mouths too--it helps because my cat doesn't talk much--mostly "meeeouw" when he wants a snack or to go out on the patio. Our exercise group has a "last Friday" coffee party where those who want can bring goodies--mine are always home-made so I can keep up with traditional favorites and have someone to eat them.

My advice is keep busy, busy, busy--I'd rather die trying to keep busy than sit in a chair and wait to die.....and senior prisons....ahhh I mean "senior living" isn't for me either--the food is awful plus nosey neighbors. I still do some gardening in the summer and rake my roof of snow in winter. Be happy your son and his wife pitch in--my son "sits".
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Though not as extensive, hubby does know where the mixing bowls are, your day sounds pretty typical around here. Hubby can never find anything in the refrigerator or pantry. So even though he'll cook dinner, I'm constantly finding things that are right in front of his face but somehow become invisible when he's trying to find them.

I asked him to do a bit of grocery shopping once (five things on my list) and had cereal of any kind he likes on the list. He came home with no cereal. When asked why, he said "I couldn't find any." Now cereal is an entire side of one aisle, how can you miss it?
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Though not as extensive, hubby does know where the mixing bowls are, your day sounds pretty typical around here. Hubby can never find anything in the refrigerator or pantry. So even though he'll cook dinner, I'm constantly finding things that are right in front of his face but somehow become invisible when he's trying to find them.

I asked him to do a bit of grocery shopping once (five things on my list) and had cereal of any kind he likes on the list. He came home with no cereal. When asked why, he said "I couldn't find any." Now cereal is an entire side of one aisle, how can you miss it?
Men are hunters, not gatherers. My guy thinks he does well when he empties the dishwasher. He takes most of it out and puts it on the counter, leaving the silverware and spatulas inside the dishwasher. Actually, that's better than having a scavenger hunt throughout the kitchen.
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Definitely sounds exhausting, but at least you had a visit!
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(Tongue in cheek :whistle: humor intended) If they wish to make dinner next year perhaps, they can give you a list of items they need a head of time. Then you could draw out a map of where the items are in your kitchen. Result - you can sit and relax, have your favorite drink, and just enjoy the visit and it will be less stress for them. It was very thoughtful they made dinner for you and cleaned up.
(Tongue in cheek :whistle: humor intended) If they wish to make dinner next year perhaps, they can give you a list of items they need a head of time. Then you could draw out a map of where the items are in your kitchen. Result - you can sit and relax, have your favorite drink, and just enjoy the visit and it will be less stress for them. It was very thoughtful they made dinner for you and cleaned up.
Thank you. They have a.ready told us that we are coming to their house in MD. My reply was, "it's cold up there"
but tongue in cheek not really meaning it. They just bought a house that has a suite in the basement where we can stay as long as we like! And, there is a interior elevator so we don't have to walk stairs!
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Haha, had a good laugh but I鈥檓 sure you did not think it was funny. Hubs and I are in our beloved home in Nicaragua on the Laguna de Apoyo. The monkeys in the trees on Thursday were creating havoc and the power was out from 4 until 7. We enjoyed the quiet and ate a cold cheese and veggie plate washed down with wine, delicious. I currently have a stuffed 14 pound turkey in the oven and we are expecting 12 people around 5:00. Happy belated to you and yours.
Haha, had a good laugh but I鈥檓 sure you did not think it was funny. Hubs and I are in our beloved home in Nicaragua on the Laguna de Apoyo. The monkeys in the trees on Thursday were creating havoc and the power was out from 4 until 7. We enjoyed the quiet and ate a cold cheese and veggie plate washed down with wine, delicious. I currently have a stuffed 14 pound turkey in the oven and we are expecting 12 people around 5:00. Happy belated to you and yours.
Sounds idyllic! How long have you lived there?
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Sounds idyllic! How long have you lived there?
Not a permanent residence. A winter haven. We started visiting here in 2010.
So, eldest son and wife love to cook...as do I. But after 54 years of it and several illnesses, I can't do it all myself. They flew in from MD yesterday. Cooking today. So far, he has cooked hamburgers and mixed frozen vegetables for lunch, put the turkey in oven, made fancy cranberry sauce, prepped all the sides, cleaned up behind himself as he goes. So why am I exhausted?

"Mom, where's a mixing bowl?"
"Mom, do you have a zester?" "No". "okay, where's the grater?"
"Mom, give me all the ingredients for this, that, the other thing."
"Mom, do you have vinegar?" "yes, it is in the pantry someplace". "I can't find it". Move away...I'll look. Here it is." oh, that's not the kind I want."
"Mom, where is the salad bowl! Cutting board! Etc.
And on and on and on.

I'm too old for this. I'm 78 and can't stand or walk for any length of time. It is great that he wants to do all the cooking and cleaning but it is exhausting for me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining but I've jumped up 500 times since breakfast.

And now, he took dishes out of the cabinet. And there was detritus on one of them. "What's going on in this house", he yells. So, some buggies got into the cabinet...this is FL!!! we call an exterminator often! Good thing he didn't see the huge palmetto bugs that routinely get in.

..."calm down, the dishwasher is running. We will reload it with these". No. They are washing them by hand!

And the real kicker is that younger son and his new girlfriend were supposed to come from Orlando (we are in Tampa Bay Area on the west coast) and a friend who visited with them sat night felt unwell as the night rolled on and tested positive for Covid so they wanted to know if they should come. We told them not to come.

An hour or so after that decision, he texted and said he had a sore throat and headache. Oh dear!

hope you are all enjoying your families and your holiday. Best wishes.
You need to drag a chair into the kitchen to supervise when they decide to "help" with dinner! Saves you yelling from the living room and having to get up a million times! Nice to have the kids come for a visit, even nicer when they leave!! IMHO.
Oh my! That all sounds just like my day! All I did was put the turkey in the oven. But, the rest.... Took me all weekend to recover.
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