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Ok so this weekend was my granddaughters baptism and prior to the baptism we phoned our son and told him we were going to open an resp- (education fund) for our first granddaughter would he provide the information we needed and we want it to be a surprise. On Saturday I told his wife that we had opened and deposited money into the acct. We were quite pleased with ourselves and were stunned when she start yelling at our son as to why he did not tell her that we did this behind her back as she is the mother. He asked her if she was going to say thank you and left the room. She followed him and it just went nuts from there. She called her parents and they came over. I told my son we would collapse the acct and that we would do something else for the baby but he was angry he said no don't do that. We stayed over at the house as it was a three hour drive home and I was worried about my son. She stayed in her room until the baptism and did not interact with any of us until her family showed up. It was a Greek baptism and we were left out of everything. It was like we did not exist. My poor son was running back and forth. I am so hurt and do not understand why she would react this way. We have helped them out numerous times with money and thought we would unburden them with the worry of an education fund. My son was very grateful and I am afraid the marriage will suffer. I don't know what to do. She and I were very close. is there a way back from this. I don't know and my granddaughter is in the middle. very sad
 

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I am astounded at this reaction. Don't feel you did the wrong thing. You did a kind and caring thing. Most parents would be so grateful. It really sounds like she's having a stress problem, and hopefully she'll calm down and realise she was pretty horrible to you.
 

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How rude to not accept a gift graciously. She should have never made her displeasure a public display - a private consult with DH would have been appropriate.
Wait for her to realize her faux pas; if she doesn't, ask for your son's help to re-establish the good relationship.
 

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We opened an account for Willow when she was born, my son had to sign the papers, but we have the paying in book and we deposited a sum into it and now put an amount each month. My mother gave both of them a cheque to open an account for her which they did and I know my mother will top it up periodically. Where is the harm in doing that. We only have 1 grandchild and if we are lucky enough to have another then we will do the same again. Life is tough for young people at the moment and it's not going to get any better when Willow is ready to venture on whatever she decides is her future. I would be very hurt if that had happened to us, how rude.
Maybe she thought you should have given her the money to do with as she wished - spend it.
 

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I'm totally puzzled - as you are - by her response. If this seems out-of-character for her, maybe it is, as someone suggested, post-partum depression. I know it's touchy, but you might suggest that to your son. If he agrees that might be the case, it would be up to him to get help for her.
 

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How ungrateful - no matter the reason. I wish my daughters had had a grandma like you. Hopefully, she will come round and realise the significance of this wonderful gift.

Vickie xox
 
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