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We waited a couple of years to receive the news that my son's wife was expecting. We were so happy to expect our first grandchild in December. I started knitting and crocheting after not doing so for many years. I had just retired a few months before and figured I would have lots of time to make things for baby. Then during the 20 week scan, they were told it's a girl! I started looking for gender specific patterns, and started planning those. The scan showed the baby was small, so they were referred to a specialist. They did blood tests to check for chromosome abnormalities which came back negative, so we hoped she was just small. Then at the specialist, they did a 4 d ultrasound and told them the baby had multiple defects and would either be lost before term, or would have severe defects. They decided to do an amnio to check for other things that don't show up in the blood test. Still we hoped. They put my dil on bed rest, so I came from AZ to CA to help them out so I was here when they got the news. The baby, Nora, has tripoidy. She has 3 of every chromosome which happens at conception. Either two sperm fertilizes one egg or the egg has an extra set of chromosomes. At the best, she would not survive long after birth. Usually these babies are lost in the first trimester, and are usually boys. My dil started bleeding (she was on bed rest for placental abruption) so we went to the hospital Saturday morning. They told her the placenta was detaching and they needed to make a decision whether to induce and have a vaginal delivery, or do a c- section and take heroic measures to try to deliver the baby alive, knowing with the tripoidy she would ultimately not survive. And since she is only 24 weeks along, that further complicates things. They chose to induce, so we are waiting for little Nora to come into the world so we can say goodbye. Her mommy, daddy, other grandma and me. If you pray, please remember us during this difficult time. Now, I'm at a loss as to what to do with the items I've made and the yarn I bought for other things. I didn't bring any of them with me, so we can't use any of them to clothe or wrap her. I had shown many of them to my dil and many others I was saving for the baby shower. Is it okay to save them for future grandbabies? This is the only son who will ever have children. The good news is, this condition isn't caused by anything but bad luck. The chances of it happening again are not increased because it happened this time.
 

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Keep them for now. Later, when DIL can handle it, ask her what she would like you to do. Then, if she says not keep, you can donate to a church group, the hospital, etc. My heart goes out to you. My DD#! carried a baby to term, knowing she had defects that would mean she died shortly after birth. It is such a sad time. Prayers and hugs for all coming your way.
 

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Our love and sympathy go out to you all. Perhaps you could wait for a while then ask your son what he would like done with them. He could then approach your daughter-in-law when he feels the time is right. It's possible that seeing another child in one of the outfits would reopen the wounds of losing little Nora. If that is the case, gift them to another new mother who is in need.
 

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Could you have an outfit overnighted? Since these items were knitted with love, I would put them away for the next baby. I lost my first child when she was 8 weeks old. I used the items I had knit for her for my other children and remembered her with love.
 

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Prayers for you and your family during this tragic time. Since you are unable to offer your lovingly made garments at this time, when the parents are able to put some distance between themselves and Nora's death mention your garments and let them suggest possibilities for future children or donation. I would involve both together so they can support one another. You may want to wait a few months.
 

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I am so sorry for what you are all going through. I may be in the minority here but.....any of the items you already have shown to your DIL, I would not automatically give to a future baby. That's just me. I cannot help but think it may hurt so much to not have had them be worn by Nora. It is so hard to give an answer to your question because we don't know your family. You can always ask your DIL in the future what she would like.
 

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Sharonscribe said:
We waited a couple of years to receive the news that my son's wife was expecting. We were so happy to expect our first grandchild in December. I started knitting and crocheting after not doing so for many years. I had just retired a few months before and figured I would have lots of time to make things for baby. Then during the 20 week scan, they were told it's a girl! I started looking for gender specific patterns, and started planning those. The scan showed the baby was small, so they were referred to a specialist. They did blood tests to check for chromosome abnormalities which came back negative, so we hoped she was just small. Then at the specialist, they did a 4 d ultrasound and told them the baby had multiple defects and would either be lost before term, or would have severe defects. They decided to do an amnio to check for other things that don't show up in the blood test. Still we hoped. They put my dil on bed rest, so I came from AZ to CA to help them out so I was here when they got the news. The baby, Nora, has tripoidy. She has 3 of every chromosome which happens at conception. Either two sperm fertilizes one egg or the egg has an extra set of chromosomes. At the best, she would not survive long after birth. Usually these babies are lost in the first trimester, and are usually boys. My dil started bleeding (she was on bed rest for placental abruption) so we went to the hospital Saturday morning. They told her the placenta was detaching and they needed to make a decision whether to induce and have a vaginal delivery, or do a c- section and take heroic measures to try to deliver the baby alive, knowing with the tripoidy she would ultimately not survive. And since she is only 24 weeks along, that further complicates things. They chose to induce, so we are waiting for little Nora to come into the world so we can say goodbye. Her mommy, daddy, other grandma and me. If you pray, please remember us during this difficult time. Now, I'm at a loss as to what to do with the items I've made and the yarn I bought for other things. I didn't bring any of them with me, so we can't use any of them to clothe or wrap her. I had shown many of them to my dil and many others I was saving for the baby shower. Is it okay to save them for future grandbabies? This is the only son who will ever have children. The good news is, this condition isn't caused by anything but bad luck. The chances of it happening again are not increased because it happened this time.
I'm so sorry for the way things are working out with your beautiful little Nora. It's such a difficult thing to go through. We love them as if we'd known them forever.

When we lost my triplet grandbabies, my dil made a memory box and put the things I'd knitted for them in there. I'd knit those things specifically for those boys. It didn't seem right to just pass them along. I suppose that someday they'll be passed along anyway, but it seemed like a good way to honor their memory. Do you think your dil would like a memory box?

When our babies died so suddenly, I didn't have time to knit three burial gowns, so I got some very soft flannel and a doll sewing pattern, and sewed them little gowns. I'd already knit a bunch of preemie hats, so I was able to send them home to Jesus in things I'd made for them. It meant a lot to me.
 

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Patforster said:
Could you have an outfit overnighted? Since these items were knitted with love, I would put them away for the next baby. I lost my first child when she was 8 weeks old. I used the items I had knit for her for my other children and remembered her with love.
I agree. I think it would be fitting to have Nora wear an outfit her Gram had made for her
Hugs and Prayers. :sm13:
 

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Very sad news, love & hugs to all concerned.

I would put the items you made away & wait until your dil mentions them (in her own time) perhaps she would like them in a memory box or for future children but I would not broach the subject - let her lead.
 
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